Do you know your anger triggers? Do you know what makes you angry? What pisses you off? What you can’t bear?
In the next two minutes, I would like you to make a list of things that:
- Irritate or frustrate you (e.g. late public transport, poor customer service, negative or disrespectful people),
- Make you angry (ex: injustice towards the weak, abusers/rapists or hypocrites)
- Which make you explode instantly (for example, the screeching of chalk on a blackboard).
Throughout the rest of the day, observe your reaction to everything happening around you. Brian Bonar says when you feel irritated or angry, write down the trigger and add it to your list. Try to spot as many anger triggers as you can.
This will allow you to become aware of triggers that you may not have been paying attention to until now, which can recur daily. Brian Bonar believes, things that don’t necessarily make you angry, but which certainly succeed in irritating or frustrating you.
Beyond that, you will also discover deeper triggers, which you are very touchy about. Certain people or situations can make you instantly angry because they are contrary to your values. For example, not supporting hypocritical/false people in a discussion or people who always arrive late.
Making this list allows you to recognize the things that make you angry, especially those that go against your highest values. This allows you to anticipate situations that would put you out of your mind, so you can deal with them more conscientiously, says Brian Bonar.
Step #3: Dig into your anger triggers
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to know more about ourselves.” -Carl Gustav Jung
After you have made your list of anger triggers, dig into each of these triggers to uncover their hidden causes.